Black Windows
by God's Broken Dreamer
Summary: Someday you realize you've got to grow up and forget your childhood fantasies. Stop looking at the sky, and start meeting people's eyes. That's when you realize, some people who leave...they never really do come back. SasuSaku
1. Chance

**_Well I'm back._**

**_For all of the people who actually keep up with all my stories thank you very much. I love you all._**

**_I love anyone who's ever reviewed one of my stories._**

**_Thank you for taking the time to read this._**

**_Anyways...._**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

**Inner Sakura**

**_Author note._**

**_Almost none of those ^^^ show up in this chapter._**

**_Sorry? XD_**

**_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. Much as I wish that I do._**

* * *

**_Chapter One: Chance_**

Sakura stood outside her parent's house with her hands in her pockets, staring up at her old bedroom window.

She imagined her walls still had that cherry blossom tree painted on them, her old bed still had her pink bedspread on it, and a few stuffed animals would be laid out carelessly on the covers.

Her armoire mirror would still have pictures of _him_ taped to it. And there would still be posters of all her favorite bands pasted on her walls.

Everything would look like it used to.

But not everything was as it used to be.

She no longer lived in that room.

That was past now.

And those windows would forever remain dark and black.

She was no longer a child.

She no longer had such luxuries as feelings.

She was a shinobi.

She lived for her village.

Her only purpose was to complete her missions successfully.

She had chosen this life.

Chosen to throw away her worthless emotions.

But…

Every now and again she let herself hope.

Maybe….

Maybe things would be different someday.

Maybe there would be a day when Shinobi were no longer needed.

But…

When that day came….

She would no longer be needed either.

For what did she know how to do except kill?

Such were the consequences of allowing herself to ever hope.

It was on days like that that she took a long walk through the Uchiha compound.

She'd touch a wall here, run her finger through the dust there.

It was comfortable.

And not because it had been Sasuke's home.

That didn't matter now.

It was always dark and empty.

Lifeless.

Just like her.

She sighed and turned to walk away.

Go home.

But…

Not yet.

That place was calling her again.

She could feel it.

She kept telling herself to go home.

But that place…

It whispered on the wind.

"Don't worry.

You can forget.

Just stay here.

Everything will be okay."

She believed that just as much as she believed Sasuke would come back.

Just as much as she believed those halls would be filled with life.

Those homes would be filled with people again.

It was never going to happen.

But still…

It called.

She closed her eyes for a few moments, letting her feet take her where they willed.

She already knew which way they would go.

Her head had whispered 'go home.'

And her heart had whispered 'I am.'

She rarely listened to that faint whisper anymore.

It never said anything worth listening to anymore.

Or that's what she told herself on her slow walk through the Uchiha compound.

Sometimes she even went in.

She knew by now which house was Sasuke's.

It was the only one she ever went in anymore.

She 'd sometimes wondered, in the past, what he'd felt, witnessing such a thing.

But she didn't need to anymore.

She understood far better than she ever could have before.

She'd witnessed much the same thing.

And it had been his fault.

She could still see the red stains on her hands, even though the blood had long since been washed off.

And it was all his fault,

Although she would never say such a thing.

It was too childish.

Too emotional.

Too much like her twelve-year-old self.

She didn't pretend anymore.

She couldn't forgive him.

And he probably didn't even care.

They were too different.

Such differences would always pull them apart.

There was no team seven any longer.

It was just a figment of Naruto's overactive imagination.

She could smile at Naruto, but it would never truly reach her eyes.

She hated seeing his smile dull a little every time he saw her.

He couldn't understand her anymore, even though he knew what she'd gone through.

Had gone through the same things.

But he was eternally a child.

They lived in different worlds.

Their paths no longer crossed.

Or that's what she told herself as she walked through the empty house.

That's what she told herself when she slid down the wall.

That's what she told herself when she buried her face against her knees.

That's what she told herself when she cried.

* * *

Sasuke walked through empty streets with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

There were too many memories here.

Too many things best forgotten.

Or that's what he told himself.

That's what was easiest to believe.

He was one of those people who'd seen too much

Too many times.

He sighed, staring at the skyline of a village he had once loved.

Once been a part of.

But was no more.

He was forever like that

Obsessed with the past, that is.

The past was where he was happy.

Was it any surprise he wished he could have stayed there forever?

He sighed and changed paths, heading down into the town. No one would be out at such an hour and he felt the need to revisit the past.

To remind himself what his goals were.

Remind himself why he was doing all this.

Yes.

Just a simple visit.

To his old home.

Certainly no one was ever there.

No one would ever care enough to visit the place he'd left behind.

Or that's what he told himself.

He seemed to be having to tell himself a lot of things these days.

And he barely believed any of it anymore.

Though it was far easier to believe a lie than to accept the truth.

The truth was always painful.

And he had enough pain to deal with already.

He changed routes, walking through the darkened streets and staring up at all the windows, trying to remember who lived in each house.

There was the Yamanaka's flower shop.

And that was where Naruto lived, or where he'd lived when Sasuke had still lived here.

Back when he was twelve.

And this…

This was Sakura's old home.

Sasuke had no doubts that she no longer lived there.

He imagined she'd been very quick to throw away her past after their last meeting.

He didn't blame her.

He'd been extremely cold.

He could still see her face when he closed his eyes.

The icy realization in her eyes.

The hardened determination.

And the acceptance that he was _never _going to come back.

Naruto had been his normal hyperactive moronic self.

Still firm in his beliefs that he would bring back Sasuke.

After all he'd made a promise.

But it was clear that Sakura did not believe he could do it.

Did not believe Sasuke would ever willingly come back.

The only way to get him to come would be to drag him kicking and screaming.

And yet….

Here he was.

On a slow walk to the Uchiha compound in the city everyone believed he would never return to.

The city even he believed he would never return to.

He took another turn, standing in front of the gates of the compound.

Did he really want to go inside?

Was it really worth it?

What if someone saw him?

Recognized him?

He shook his head slightly, clearing such foolish thoughts.

It was late.

No one would be out.

No one.

Except him.

And the ghosts he was certain haunted this place.

With everything that had happened here there had to be ghosts.

He could see the red on the walls.

Still see the bodies spread across the streets.

Those sights would haunt him until the day he died.

He pushed open the gate, walking into the compound.

Gazing around at the streets, at the houses.

That was where Mother's sister lived.

That was where the elders had gathered.

That was where his father had held meetings.

He named off who had lived there or what the building had been used for as he passed.

And here?

He stopped walking and gazed up at the darkened windows.

Remembering times where light had shined through.

_This was my house._

He turned to go.

* * *

Emerald glass eyes opening, a lifting of the head, the will to stand.

Onyx, looking away from those windows, just before the lights turned on.

Two feet walking

In opposite directions.

Two people passing on the street,

Too blinded by the black

To ever turn and see.

* * *

**_So did you like it?_**

**_Originally I'd planned for this story to be a one shot._**

**_But now I think I'm going to make it a full-fledged many chaptered story._**

**_So Anyways..._**

**_Thanks again for reading._**

**_I love you all._**

**_Please review!_**

**_Witty Comment of the Day: You know how in Sailor Moon we always used to marvel at how pretty and LONG her transformations scenes were. Nowadays we wonder why nobody got bored and killed her in the middle of one. _**

**_Ciao!_**

**_~God's Broken Dreamer_**


	2. Fate

**_Well I'm back. Miss me?_**

**_New chapter of Black windows._**

**_Read and review!_**

**_Enjoy yourselves!_**

"Talking"

_thinking_

* * *

_**Chapter Two: Fate**_

_**Sakura's POV:**_

_It was Christmas._

_Yeah._

_Ho-ho-ho._

_I always hated fat guys._

* * *

_**Third Person POV:**_

Sakura was alone for Christmas again this year.

Just like she'd been alone the year before.

And the year before that.

It was lonely, not having a family.

She finally understood why Sasuke had been so angst-ridden when he was still in Konoha.

It was extremely hard to lose everyone important to you.

But then,

He hadn't lost everyone had he?

He'd just been too blind to notice.

Revenge is the best of blinders.

She hadn't lost everybody either.

There was still Kakashi and Tsunade.

And Naruto.

But Kakashi was being sent on more and more missions, Tsunade was too busy with her duties as Hokage,

And Naruto?

Naruto was out becoming stronger.

Getting noticed.

Saving the world.

And she?

She was stuck in Konoha because Tsunade didn't want to lose her.

She wasn't sure if she'd ever felt more useless than she did now.

She stared down at the wrapped package in her hands, still wondering why she'd even bothered.

It wasn't like he'd ever actually receive it.

Yes, the present in her hands was for the ever stoic Uchiha.

Sasuke.

She'd seen it in a store window and had been unable to resist buying it.

It just seemed so….him.

She was on another walk to the Uchiha compound.

A little faster this time, she didn't want anyone to see her and ask questions.

Or spread gossip.

People in Konoha loved questions and gossip a little too much in her opinion.

She stopped in front of the gates, still debating whether or not she wanted to actually go in.

But, of course, she went in.

Just like always.

She'd stand there and debate for a while then sigh and push the gate open anyways.

It was her routine.

Just like this place.

This place…

Was her secret.

Everyone knew it was there.

But no one but her ever came here anymore.

No even realized she came here.

Tsunade still hadn't realized that this was where she disappeared to.

She could think here, within these walls.

Among their horrors and secrets.

She understood.

She felt a sense of belonging.

Or perhaps that was just the part of her that had once loved Sasuke talking.

She didn't care anymore.

He'd left and that was that.

He wasn't coming back.

How long had she had this same conversation with herself?

Months?

Years?

It always ended the same way.

A stalemate.

Her weak, younger self just wouldn't die.

Or at least go away.

Or even just shut up.

It was annoying.

She understood why Sasuke hadn't liked her.

Had thought she was annoying.

Because she had been.

Unbelievably so.

She shuddered at the thought of what she had been like then.

But it didn't really matter.

What was past was past.

Or so she kept telling herself.

She slid her fingers over the present one more time, leaning down and setting it on the porch of Sasuke's old house.

_Maybe now I can say goodbye._

She'd been trying to let go of him for so long.

There was still a part of her that, well, if not loved, then at least felt something for him.

It was the part that kept her thinking about him

Years after he'd left.

It was the part of herself she hated.

She smiled wryly. _Guess not. _

"You always were a selfish bastard."

She turned to go.

* * *

Sasuke wondered passingly why he kept returning to this place that he had sworn he would never come back to.

That he was preparing to destroy.

A place that held so many memories and horrors?

Past friends.

Past dreams.

Past Ambition.

Past….

It didn't matter anymore.

_There's a reason your past is behind you._

_There was never anything worthwhile there._

Yes, he'd had a family once.

And he'd played second fiddle to his brother.

Yes, he'd been a part of a team once.

But Naruto had always been better than him.

_Wasn't I first in anything?_

_Yeah…_

_Sakura._

_Naively innocent Sakura._

_She got a cold wake up call though didn't she?_

_At least I said goodbye._

_Of course, I did knock her out and leave her lying on a stone bench…_

_What's it matter anyways?_

_As if she even cares anymore._

He shook his head, clearing the troubling thoughts away, things like that….

Like his past…

Weren't important to him anymore.

He had a goal.

A dream.

Something to do with his life.

_So, why the hell do I keep coming back here?!_

He was angry.

Angry at himself.

Angry at his team.

Angry at everyone.

But mostly, angry at his younger self.

It was the one piece of him that held onto the past,

that hadn't embraced the dark yet.

The part of him that had thanked Sakura right before he'd knocked her out.

Thanked her!

Sasuke didn't thank anybody.

He had no need to.

No reason to.

But he had.

Thanked her like she'd saved him.

Saved him from what?

He didn't know.

It didn't matter.

Like he'd said, past is past.

There's a reason it's forever behind you.

He pushed open the gates to the familiar setting.

The Uchiha compound.

With its familiar streets and familiar houses.

But no familiar people.

This was a ghost town now.

Nothing more than a haunted house.

With haunted memories.

He sighed, pushing a hand through his hair and building his resolve to continue walking.

Once again he named off the people who had lived in each house.

Until he reached his house.

Then he was struck speechless.

* * *

Sakura shivered, pushing her hands a little deeper into the pockets of her coat.

She didn't quite understand why she had turned around halfway home and walked back here.

There was actually no explanation.

She just felt that she needed to.

If only for the proof that her present would still be sitting solemnly on that otherwise empty porch.

Untouched.

Forever.

She could see her breath as it floated up toward the clouds and for a few moments she envied it.

Like every other young girl she'd once wished that she could be a princess or t hat she could fly.

The second wish had stuck with her.

How good would it feel to take off through the skies, free from all her troubles?

Too good.

That was what was so dangerous about dreams.

They make you wish you never had to wake up.

Never had to return to reality.

And some people lose themselves in their dreams.

_What a stupid way to go._

_I'd rather go out fighting my way to an honorable death._

_To a carving of my name on the stone Kakashi-sensei stares at every morning._

_At least I'd be remembered._

_I hope…_

Because that was what she was really afraid of.

That no one would miss her,

No one would care

When she was gone.

All of her weaknesses stemmed from her need to be needed.

To be noticed.

Loved.

Remembered.

It was lonely walking the path of life by yourself.

She sighed again, shaking her head at her pathetic self.

The porch came into view.

She froze.

The present was gone.

And then she heard a voice behind her.

"Sakura…."

She was dreaming.

She had to be dreaming.

There was no chance that Sasuke was behind her.

In the Uchiha Compound.

In Konoha.

She spun and Onyx met Emerald for the first time in years.

"Sasuke…."

* * *

_**Was that an Evil cliffy?**_

_**'Tis possible.**_

_**So....**_

_**They finally met**_

_**No more just barely missed each other.**_

_**Contact has been made.**_

_**What'll happen?**_

_**Wait and see =D**_

_**Witty Comment of the Day: I've noticed we dub it 'sick' when it's something funny that we shouldn't be laughing at and we're laughing anyways.**_

_**Ciao,**_

_**God's Broken Dreamer  
**_


	3. Strength

_** Oh, look!**_  
**_An update! It's a miracle!_**

**_Yes, I am back and actually writing._**

**_A joyous occasion is it not?_**

**_Anyways, enjoy the chapter. _**

**_Read and Review! (Show the love!)_**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

**Inner Sakura**

* * *

Sasuke had expected the widening of the eyes.

He'd expected declarations of love.

Of how she'd known he would be back.

Tears of joy.

He hadn't expected the fist ramming into his cheek or the flurry of curses that followed and would have put even the finest of sailors to shame.

And he hadn't expected the follow up kick which led to his face becoming very good friends with a newly formed crater in the ground.

No.

Those things had been a little surprising.

But only a little.

They weren't as nearly as surprising as it had been to see the carefully wrapped package that had been sitting on his porch and was now nestled safely in his pocket.

They were almost as surprising as finding Sakura standing in front of his house, on Christmas Eve, shivering, with her hands stuffed in her pockets, and staring at the place where the present had been.

They were just about as surprising as the note which had been attached to that package and had most definitely not been in Sakura's handwriting except for the signature. He honestly doubted very much, specifically in the face of her current actions, that Sakura was still of the opinion that they were soul mates. Had Sakura written the note it probably would have gone something like: Merry Christmas, Asshole. Don't come back.

And they were a bit more surprising than the discovery that she was wearing street clothes, civilian clothes. Not her normal Red vest and cream skirt over black shorts. No. She was wearing tight-fitting, denim jeans and a black leather duster. Sasuke had a moment to be jealous. He'd always wanted a coat like that.

Her hair was long again too.

The next blow shattered his thoughts and sent him flying even though he'd remembered to block it. His arms were numb. Since when had she been so strong?

She was in front of him again, jacket whipping about behind her and another chakra laden fist aimed at his face. He grabbed her wrist and twisted, throwing her over his shoulder where she crashed into a house. He winced, remembering the house's long-gone owner.

Sasuke smoothed the expression from his face and went after Sakura, finding her lying unconscious in a pile of rubble. He absently wiped a trail of blood from his mouth away and smirked. "Still so very weak, Sakura. Even after so long."

Her body disappeared in a puff of smoke and Sasuke's eyes widened. "That's what you think." The voice came from behind him and he whirled to find....

Nothing.

There was no one there.

His eyes narrowed and he stepped through the rubble that had once been a wall and back out into the street.

Nothing moved.

There wasn't even any wind.

He activated his sharingan and glanced around. "Got you." A cruel smirk curved his lips as he threw a Kunai. There was a startled gasp and then a pink haired figure fell from one of the roofs and the world returned to normal.

Sasuke smirked again, approaching the prone figure. Another puff of smoke and the figure became a log. He cursed and turned to run toward the village. Then stopped. _I'm a missing nin. What sort of idiot missing nin runs into the village he left, without any disguise? A dead one._ He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. He had no choice. He'd let her go...

For now.

* * *

Sakura's heart pounded in her ears and her breath came in pants. "Why is he here? Why is _he _here?! He shouldn't be here. He said he'd never come back!" She shook her head to clear it. "C'mon Sakura, get a hold of yourself. Just go tell Tsunade what happened. She'll get an ANBU squad on his ass right away and he'll be out of your hair."

**But then you'd have to admit that you were at the Uchiha compound. That you were leaving him a Christmas present. You'd have to admit that you visited his old home quite frequently.**

_I know, but..._

**What if he's killed? Can you live with that? You still love him. Will you be able to survive and stay you, if you have his blood on your hands?**

_I don't love him!_

The voice laughed. **Right. You don't love him and I'm a canary.**

_Well, you never seem like you can shut up. That's pretty canary-esque to me._

**Oh shut up, girl. I've helped you too long for you to give me lip.**

_You've helped me?_

**Don't make me list them off.**

_Fine._

Sakura took a right turn and headed toward her apartment.

**So, you're not telling, I take it?**

_What's the point? You're right._

_I can't do it._

The voice chuckled and faded, leaving Sakura alone with her thoughts.

* * *

**I told you she couldn't do it. Pay up.**

There was a grumble and a clink then a male voice came. _Lucky guess. _

**You just don't know anything about her anymore. She handles her own problems. She's not weak anymore.**

_And I suppose we have you to thank for that?_

**Not at all. She grew into it. **The tone of the voice made it obvious that the owner of it was wearing a secretive, amused, and proud smile.

_So I'm to believe that that little weakling managed to make herself into that all by herself?_

**Of course she did. I've been telling you for years that she's stronger than you ever thought.**

_The only strong thing about her before was the fact that she had you in case she got into a very very tight spot. Like with that Yamanaka girl in the Chunin Exams._

**She didn't need me then either. I've been her fail-safe for years and she _is_ very dependent on me. But, she's never truly needed me. **

_Makes you sad, does it?_

**Nah, parents should be proud when their children grow up and leave them behind.**

_Parents?_

**Well, not literally, baka. I've just been taking care of her for so long, that's what it feels like. Like I'm her mother and I'm giving her up to that great big world out there. The only thing I can do is hope she's ready to face it.**

_And if she isn't?_

**I very much doubt she isn't. But, what else? Icarus's wings will melt and he will fall.**

_Icarus? Wings? Well, can't you save her?_

**The most important thing about raising a child is that, when they make their bed, you have to teach them to lie in it. **

_Ah. That's a no then._

**She's too old for that now. She must save herself or crash and burn.**

_There's not an option C?_

**Always want the easy way out, don't you? **

_It would be preferable._

**Well, you ought to know by now, there is no easy way out of life.**

_No such thing as forever either._

**No, there's where you're fooling yourself, mate. Time will keep moving even without a single person to record its passing.**

_That's a happy outlook._

**Well, you know me. Happy happy happy.**

* * *

Sakura sighed and put her head in her hands. She felt pathetic. The man who had left her on a bench years ago (the very bench she was _sitting on!_) finally showed up, and what did she do? She beat him half-heartedly and ran away before he got a chance to retaliate. If that wasn't cowardice she didn't know what was. She should have knocked him on his ass and dragged him before Tsunade without a single second thought. But did she pick the option that had at least a modicum of sense in it? No! She decided to let him live another day and get away with everything he'd done. He probably thought she was still in love with him.

That asshole.

She hadn't loved him in years!

Not since she was twelve!

A boy crazy twelve year old on the same team as her crush.

Sakura shook her head at how pathetic she had been. She really did wonder how anyone had been able to stomach her presence back then. It was always 'Sasuke-kun this' and 'Sasuke-kun that' and it was amazing no had killed her.

Hell, 'Sasuke-kun' should've been the one to do it.

She must have made his life hell.

_No fucking wonder he left Konoha. Probably couldn't wait to get out of here._

**Is there a point to this pathetic inner monologue?**

_God! See?! Even you think I'm pathetic!_

**No, I think you need to get up off your knees and take another mission.**

_A mission? But Tsunade won't let me out of the village!_

**You're her star pupil. Prove to her you can do it.**

_And how am I supposed to do that?_

**You're smart. You'll figure something out.**

Sakura sighed and pushed a hand through her hair. It was getting long again. _I really hate you, you know?_

There was an echoing laugh. **I love you too.**

_Fine. But, I've got something to do first. _

**Well, by all means. Don't let me hold you back.**

* * *

Tsunade drummed her fingers impatiently on her desk, waiting for Shizune to stop hovering long enough for her to get to the sake she had hidden in her desk drawer. It had, so far, been a trying day, and she needed a drink.

There was a knock on the door and Shizune hastened to answer it. Tsunade took the opportunity to slide the drawer open and glance inside, to make sure the sake was still there.

Sake: check. Thank Kami.

The door slid open to reveal pink hair and she glanced up with a smile which died on her lips before she could get any words out. "Sakura, what did you do to your hair?"

"Hmm?" The girl fingered the short strands and shrugged. "Long hair isn't helpful in our career field. It was getting in the way."

"But-But, Sakura-"

"I cut my hair for the first time in a very long time during the chunin exams." Sakura said quietly, interrupting the Hokage. "I was trying to protect Sasuke and Naruto from three of Orochimaru's sound nin. It was the first time I realized I could be strong too, strong like the people I was chasing after. I needed to re-find that feeling."

Tsunade pursed her lips and stayed silent before the drum of her fingers began again. "Fine." Sakura looked up and met her Shishou's eyes, a hopeful smile in place. "I'll put you back on the ANBU active duty roster. Come back tomorrow after your hospital rounds to get a mission."

Sakura's face broke into a wide grin and she ran forward to hug Tsunade before turning and practically skipping from the room. Tsunade and Shizune shared a startled glance.

"What just happened?" Shizune asked in confusion.

The Hokage shrugged. "No caged bird is truly happy. Perhaps I ought to stop clipping her wings."

Shizune nodded thoughtfully. "You always were very overprotective."

"That's the first time she's smiled at me in years..." The doll's mask was cracking and Tsunade had to wonder, when all of their attempts had meant nothing, what had broken through?

* * *

**_And, there you are! _**

**_Chapter Three of Black Windows, full of fluff and character developement._**

**_Didja like it?_**

**_I know, you waited forever, didn't you? I'm very sorry._**

**_Witty Comment of the Day: It really isn't fair that a guy can take off his shirt and, if a girl's shirt is low-cut, she's a slut. Honestly, what is with that? Bloody unfair. _**

**_Ciao,_**

**_~God's Broken Dreamer_**


End file.
